tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88565925997838824852024-03-12T19:07:35.857-07:00Positive Change, Positive Leaders and Young AdultsBy Christine Duvivier.
Unleash the hidden talents in every young adultPositive Leadershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09964763848965912136noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8856592599783882485.post-81373055320845276222011-01-25T18:39:00.000-08:002011-01-26T06:43:56.485-08:00My Mother is Not a Tiger and I Am Too<div class="MsoNormal"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>My mother is American French-Irish and most definitely not a <a href="http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704111504576059713528698754.html">Chinese Tiger Mother</a>, as Amy Chua describes herself. My mother played the piano beautifully (though not as well as Chua’s kids) for fun and relaxation every spare minute she could find in a day. Even though this was her first love, my mother did not force me to practice or even to stay with it. Far from a tiger, she was more like Golden Retriever Mother.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">She would chase down any person or opportunity she thought was good for us and come back beaming, dropping it at our feet eagerly, her face just begging us to pick it up. How could we say no? </div><div class="MsoNormal"><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9JIoxDBsuvb3LwKoQXMnaXB1TxRyzcJtDQyzhhBDUi9TlILFjZ5ogQZa0sFfzFR6vq1bYwTV8MSbiCUGZAzPdfQ1smjigljba-3sk9cAyMleo-VGQnSte3dsUArBXMO24uAScvGgV5VQO/s1600/Golden+Retriever.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9JIoxDBsuvb3LwKoQXMnaXB1TxRyzcJtDQyzhhBDUi9TlILFjZ5ogQZa0sFfzFR6vq1bYwTV8MSbiCUGZAzPdfQ1smjigljba-3sk9cAyMleo-VGQnSte3dsUArBXMO24uAScvGgV5VQO/s320/Golden+Retriever.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Beaming Golden Retriever</td></tr>
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</div><div class="MsoNormal">As excited as she was to get us involved in new activities, though, she always let us quit-- and the five of us racked up quite a quitting record: piano, sewing, dance, paper routes, soccer, a month of kindergarten, and even college. And as my husband once noted, “she thinks everything her kids do is wonderful” (other than wrapping presents, which I wasn’t allowed to attempt). </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>Sadly, as my daughters moved up in school, I became worried that if I wasn’t more of a “Tiger Mother,” they would spend their lives in front of the tv.</b> I wondered if my mother had been too lax with us and if she could have forced me to be more disciplined (that was before I realized, mid-life, that I had ADD; now I have an excuse for my lack of discipline). </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">All I ever really wanted to be was what <a href="http://www.webmd.com/david-elkind">David Elkind </a>calls a “Milk and Cookies Mom,” and during the early years, it was easy to relax, play, and notice how remarkable my kids were. But as they moved through middle school and high school, I got scared. If there is one thing I could do over (there are about a million), it would be this: <b>don’t parent from a place of fear.</b> Unfortunately, I didn’t know that then and as school pressures increased, so did my feeling that I was somehow failing my kids<b>:</b> they weren’t as motivated as they needed to be-- if they were going to get into a “decent” college and get a “good job.” </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">We had tried to raise them as self-starters, but when, as teens, they weren’t performing at the highest levels, my doubts bubbled up and I would swing between a few days of hounding them and a few months of allowing them to self-direct. Unlike Chua’s husband, who begged her not to scream at her kids, <b>my husband begged me to be pushier</b> because he felt he would have done better in life if his parents had pushed him. (Done better than marrying me? Really?)</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Instinctively, I believed that self-motivation was the way to go – only now I wanted them to self-motivate for what <i>I</i> wanted them to do. To be fair, it’s not as if they were doing nothing. They both got their homework done every night, even when it took four, five or seven hours. It’s just that the results (grades) weren’t always there – and after all, they did spend time watching tv and texting with friends. I thought I should try to pack a bit more into their days and nights. What saved us, and for this I'm truly grateful, is that I also had doubts about the relentless pace (since I couldn’t keep up with it). It turns out that my instincts were right, but at the time, I had no validation.<br />
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Later, when I formally studied <a href="http://positiveleaders.blogspot.com/2009/04/successful.html">motivation</a>, I was delighted to discover that <b>the highest form of motivation is <a href="http://positiveleaders.blogspot.com/2009/04/successful.html">intrinsic</a></b>. It turns out that the type of motivation Chua practiced with her girls is one of the lowest forms of motivation: external (and grades are also external motivation). So now I’ve purged the doubts and the tiger from my playbook and it’s time to admit: “Mom, you were right.” In my next life, I’ll be pure golden. Really. </div>Positive Leadershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09964763848965912136noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8856592599783882485.post-52093842108783333902010-04-08T09:31:00.000-07:002010-04-08T10:27:16.974-07:00What Would a Good Mother Do?“I ask myself, ‘What would a good mother do in this situation?’” confesses 44-year-old Sandra, mother of two middle-schoolers. Her question took me back to the time when we discovered my daughter Kate had vision problems. <br />
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She was a high school sophomore and I felt that we had finally gotten to the root of her issues with reading. A feeling of relief washed over me. I felt the calm permeate every cell of my body in one of those rare parenting moments of utter relaxation and I breathed-in deeply to savor it— for what must have been at least 10 seconds. Then my brain kicked-into gear and chastised me: <br />
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“Why didn’t I figure this out sooner? Why didn’t I push harder for answers when she was younger? Mothers like Mary Akjor would have been all over this. She was on top of her everything about her kids’ school. She would never have let it go this far.”<br />
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As I work with clients like Sandra, I realize how many of us say these kinds of things to ourselves. Often we worry, “What am I doing wrong as a parent? Why isn’t my child shaping-up? If I were a better parent, my child would be excelling in school (or sports… or music… or socially). “<br />
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Except parents like Mary and Bill Akjor don’t beat themselves up with thoughts like these. They just smile smugly and say, “Of course our Susie is perfect. That’s the way we raised her. You know, we’re really very conscientious parents--unlike the rest of you who don’t seem to have a clue.” Well they don’t actually say it out loud, but you can tell that’s what they’re thinking.<br />
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So you can imagine my shock when Mary called me one day and said, “Christine, we just discovered that Brian [Susie’s little brother] has a problem with the way his eyes focus. I’m so angry that this wasn’t picked up sooner – he’s in high school now and this could have been dealt with years ago.” I hung up the phone and thought, “maybe I wasn’t such a bad mother after all.” I mean, if Mary Akjor, conscientious-mother-of-the-century, didn’t figure it out sooner, maybe I wasn’t as negligent as I thought.<br />
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For me, Mary was the “good mother” that Sandra referred to when she asked, “What would a good mother do?” And on this issue, Mary hadn’t done any better than I had. Phew.<br />
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It turns out that I was doing just fine by the “good mother” standard – not because I was doing anything particularly well, but simply because I was loving my kids. “You see,” Dr. Arnie Kerzner explained to a group of us (at a teen parenting workshop), “the research shows you don’t have to be a perfect parent. You don’t even have to be a great parent. For your kid to do well in life, all you have to do is be a ‘good enough parent.’”<br />
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Once again, I breathed a huge sigh of relief. I knew I wasn’t a perfect parent and I worried that I wasn’t a great parent, but I knew in my heart that I was a “good enough parent” and that’s all my girls needed. What a relief. <br />
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So now, I urge parents like Sandra to ask not what a good parent would do, but instead ask, “Am I a <em>good enough</em> parent?” It's a much easier standard to meet-- and it's the one that really matters.Positive Leadershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09964763848965912136noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8856592599783882485.post-58574037076380638272010-03-15T13:53:00.000-07:002010-03-15T14:31:05.899-07:00Surprised (Happily) by College's Service Culture“How do you figure out which colleges will be best for your child?” a mother in the audience asked me recently. <br />
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“A good place to start is by asking your child to think about times in his life when he felt confident, energized, connected, or felt he was making a valuable contribution,” I replied. Four years ago, when my daughter Lauren was doing this exercise, she realized that a number of her best moments came during community service projects. <br />
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So I took notice last week when the college she chose, <a href="http://www.owu.edu/">Ohio Wesleyan University (OWU),</a> won a 2009 presidential award for community service. <br />
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“Did you know OWU was so strong in community service when you picked it?” I asked Lauren, now a junior.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5FOtKi40NZE1EfXgVcJmnfCSOFbydxdQcCWrC1ij9EPPKBAQl1Ro0sfBgceoi29cdrVWQv5p_uQKL4KR31tyOibTUje4EKr5FGdEIJEFAC1mfWANQsQ811w1tCf25cwu9cjdKL-bYEgAh/s1600-h/Picture2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="149" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5FOtKi40NZE1EfXgVcJmnfCSOFbydxdQcCWrC1ij9EPPKBAQl1Ro0sfBgceoi29cdrVWQv5p_uQKL4KR31tyOibTUje4EKr5FGdEIJEFAC1mfWANQsQ811w1tCf25cwu9cjdKL-bYEgAh/s200/Picture2.jpg" vt="true" width="200" /></a></div>“Yeah,” she said. “Don’t you remember?’’ My memory’s not what it was… “That was one of the questions I always asked colleges because I loved the Honduras work [done in high school] so much,” Lauren explained (patiently). I guess I was the only one surprised by how that played out four years later.<br />
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<strong>How do you make a culture come alive-- even to a high schooler?</strong><br />
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This made me curious: how does a college foster a service culture that is noticeable even to a high school student? I asked OWU’s Susan Pasters, Director of Community Service Learning, and Rock Jones, President. <br />
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<em><strong>CD: Why do you think so many OWU students volunteer so many hours in community service?</strong></em><br />
SP: Each student’s motivation is uniquely individual, but OWU attracts students who are predisposed toward participating in community service. Many of our students want to be engaged in service-learning activities outside the classroom. Others find that community service is a good way to make friends and feel good about themselves. <br />
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">RJ: Ohio Wesleyan has a long heritage of combining rigorous classroom work with real-world experiences, including volunteer service. There is a particularly strong culture of service on the campus that is embraced by virtually everyone at OWU. </div><br />
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><strong><em>CD: Many colleges have community service. When you arrived at OWU, did you expect that this was an area where the school would stand apart?</em></strong></div><br />
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</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-nEbLdsolNCOGWctCA5os3xaUA03_s54WznkNpPjLUWJoXyPuJSi70iTAWzik5310vAF-Oo5Tr6uRJ6qbgXzw1fbZljI2_EXG-oQ56YWI-i2XWmrJZ5D3kRFnm9ahScf32TsM6d9ymTtC/s1600-h/owu-pasters-jones1-300x199.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="132" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-nEbLdsolNCOGWctCA5os3xaUA03_s54WznkNpPjLUWJoXyPuJSi70iTAWzik5310vAF-Oo5Tr6uRJ6qbgXzw1fbZljI2_EXG-oQ56YWI-i2XWmrJZ5D3kRFnm9ahScf32TsM6d9ymTtC/s200/owu-pasters-jones1-300x199.jpg" vt="true" width="200" /></a>SP: I arrived in July 1989 to establish a community service office. I knew that OWU had a long history of producing a large percentage of graduates who entered a life of service…[but] in 1989, I had no idea that Ohio Wesleyan would end up being an exemplary school for service and service-learning. </div>RJ: I learned in the interview process of the longstanding commitment to service at Ohio Wesleyan, dating from the early 20th century when OWU sent large numbers of graduates to serve as Methodist missionaries to the late 20th century when OWU was recognized for being one of the universities to send the largest number of graduates to service in the Peace Corps. Service is in the genetic code of OWU.<br />
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<strong><em>CD: How do you encourage students to get involved? </em></strong><br />
RJ: We start talking about it during the admission process, we talk more during Orientation, and we host a Volunteer Fair during the first week of classes. <br />
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SP: We advertise through every means possible, but there is also a great word-of-mouth network where students recruit their friends to get involved because they are having such great experiences. <br />
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<strong>Finding Meaning </strong><br />
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<em><strong>CD: Finding meaning isn’t always easy. Does community service add meaning for OWU students?</strong></em><br />
RJ: Yes – it happens every day. Many students share with me stories of the deep meaning they have found through volunteer service. I believe that a part of our educational mission is to help students understand the connection between their academic work and their most cherished values that provide the source of their understanding of life purpose. <br />
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<em><strong>CD: What else does participation in community service do for a student? </strong></em><br />
SP: In my opinion, students who engage in service have a better idea of what they want to do in life, have more hands-on experience to put on their resumes, and are apt to be more compassionate toward people different from themselves.<br />
RJ: When I interview graduating seniors, many of them cite community service as a source of important growth and personal transformation during their years at OWU.<br />
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<em><strong>Community service is one of the ways to bring out gifts that don’t show up in the classroom and to bring meaning to life. It's also often a place where kids who don't do well academically can feel they make a valuable contribution. For these reasons and the inherent gift of helping someone else, I recommend encouraging service in your child even if his school doesn't (and you may be surprised!).</strong></em><br />
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I originally wrote this for Positive Psychology News Daily and the original article is <a href="http://positivepsychologynews.com/news/christine-duvivier/201003099684">here.</a>Positive Leadershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09964763848965912136noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8856592599783882485.post-40229125923121071182010-01-19T15:47:00.000-08:002010-01-20T08:46:00.611-08:00How to Free Your Child from the Critics' TrapI once had a wonderful professor who was funny and a great teacher in front of the class. When I spoke with him privately, though, I felt like an idiot. Once, while discussing my plans for a research project, he snapped, “Why would you want to do that?!?”which left me feeling off-balance and dumb, not sure why I had thought “that” was such a great idea in the first place. <br />
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Consciously or not, by belittling my ideas, he made himself look smarter. “Teresa Amabile at Harvard showed that humans have a tendency to perceive critics as smarter than approvers when they lack sufficient information to make judgments on the content of statements,” reports <a href="http://positivepsychologynews.com/news/dave-shearon/201001177556">Dave Shearon, MAPP.</a> <br />
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In fact, <a href="http://psycnet.apa.org/?fa=main.doiLanding&uid=1983-32662-001">Teresa Amabile</a> says, “Negative reviewers were perceived as more intelligent, competent and expert than positive reviewers, even when the content of the positive review was independently judged as being of higher quality and greater forcefulness.” <br />
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<strong>Are Positive People Dumber?</strong> <br />
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This got me think about the common saying, “Fat, dumb and happy.” Where did that come from and why do we conjure an image of the Pillsbury Dough Boy when we use the word “happy?” Whatever the origins, you can be sure it is not a recent development. According to <a href="http://positivepsychologynews.com/news/dave-shearon/201001177556">Shearon</a>, Gustave Flaubert said, ‘To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost.’ <br />
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We set up a flawed choice in our language and perceptions: be negative and smart or cheerful and dumb . Do we really want to leave our children (or ourselves) with the idea that being critical and negative means you’re smarter? Not if we want them to live, long satisfying lives, we don’t (see #1 below). <br />
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To free your child from the critics' trap, show them that this is a flawed choice, that they can be both positive and smart. Here are a few ways to do this: <br />
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<strong>1. Know the Recipe for a Satisfying Life</strong><br />
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Maybe we would be less skeptical of cheerfulness if we understood that to live a long, healthy life you must feel more positive emotion, according to research on <a href="http://pmbcii.psy.cmu.edu/other_projects/respiratory_illness.html">health</a>, <a href="http://www.stpt.usf.edu/~jsokolov/agealzh2.htm">nuns</a>, and <a href="http://adultdev.bwh.harvard.edu/research-SAD.html">Harvard men</a>. The “heart strengths” of love, hope, zest and gratitude are correlated with life satisfaction and intellectual strengths are not, according to <a href="http://psycnet.apa.org/index.cfm?fa=buy.optionToBuy&id=2005-08033-003&CFID=5589552&CFTOKEN=12546292">Marty Seligman and Chris Peterson</a>. <br />
This must have been obvious to Ernest Hemingway, who said, “Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.” <br />
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<strong>2. Remind him that a 2-year-old can say, “No.”</strong><br />
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We have this notion that it’s more sophisticated to be negative, but the fact is it’s so simple that even a toddler can do it. What’s sophisticated is coming up with creative new ideas, concepts, products and services. <br />
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Demonstrate this to your teen by setting a timer and asking her to criticize something of yours (writing, cooking, clothing…). Then set the timer again and ask her to help you expand upon the good aspects of the item in question. She’ll see how much more time, effort and thought go into building-up than tearing-down. <br />
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<strong>3. Seek the Gems</strong><br />
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A friend’s father once said, “I’ve never met a man from whom I cannot learn” and in the past 25 years I’ve found he’s absolutely right. Encourage your child to find a gem, something smart and worth understanding, in others and in himself. <br />
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When he looks for things to appreciate, not only will he learn and explore the world with curiosity and intelligence, but he'll increase the positive emotions that lead to lasting happiness. Isn't that smart? :)<br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><em>Your child has tremendous potential and specific gifts to share with the world. If it's a challenge for you to see this right now, you need</em> a Better Frame of Reference. <em>A good place to start is our small-group<strong> </strong></em></span><a href="http://ui.constantcontact.com/rnavmap/evp/edit/landingpage?eventId=1102943743419"><em><strong><span style="background-color: #d9ead3;">Parent Mentoring</span></strong></em></a><span style="background-color: #d9ead3;"><em><strong> </strong>program on January 30, in Wellesley, MA.</em> </span><a href="http://ui.constantcontact.com/rnavmap/evp/edit/landingpage?eventId=1102943743419"><span style="background-color: #d9ead3;">Learn more...</span></a>Positive Leadershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09964763848965912136noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8856592599783882485.post-21728625407547057832009-08-30T10:24:00.000-07:002009-08-30T11:38:44.391-07:00Starting our kids on the right pathToday's Boston Globe Magazine has an article about stressed 5-year-olds. No, that is not a typo-- I did not accidently type 5 instead of 15. The article is about "pressurized <em>kindergarten." </em><br /><em></em><br />Apparently some people think it's a good idea to begin testing and assessing academic performance as early as possible. Perhaps they think that starting young will help these children to better deal with unhealthy stress they may encounter in high school.<br /><br />With all the focus on preparing kids for high school -- which is then focused on preparing them for college-- we can lose sight of our ultimate goals for children. Don't we want future leaders and productive citizens who thrive in life? Adults with loving relationships who create a better world?<br /><br />Perhaps those who are pushing academic assessments into kindergartens don't know that we have an epidemic of depression and anxiety, with 1 in 5 high school students having a full clinical episode. Perhaps they don't know that even when a child doesn't know he will be assessed-- but his parent is told-- the student's anxiety increases and performance worsens.<br /><br />Perhaps they don't know this about college students:<br />"The vast majority of college students are feeling stressed these days, and significant numbers are at risk of depression, according to an Associated Press-mtvU poll. Eighty-five percent of the students reported feeling stress in their daily lives in recent months, with worries about grades, school work, money and relationships the big culprits..." says the May 21 Associated Press article on <a href="http://www.newsvine.com/_news/2009/05/21/2846360-ap-poll-most-students-stressed-some-depressed">newsvine.com</a>.<br /><br />Instead of bringing college- and high school-stressors to kindergarten, we should look at what matters most for thriving in life. The data is very clear: academic performance is not a good predictor of a lifetime of flourishing. To thrive in the future economy we need less fact- regurgitating and more creativity. To help our children thrive in life, we need to stop worrying about test scores and start encouraging them to increase positive emotion by developing their gifts and strengths.<br /><br />Why is it that schools from college to kindergarten aren't measuring the results that matter: how their graduates fare in life? When you look at many years of real-life data you find a very different picture than most of us are usually given. Positive emotion predicts creativity, longevity, physical health, relationship satisfaction and career success. Let's start kids on the right path and focus on what will matter most for their lives.Positive Leadershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09964763848965912136noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8856592599783882485.post-16614189353483572212009-05-07T14:55:00.001-07:002009-05-09T07:22:01.688-07:00Guitar Hero or High School? One Family's Choice<span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 18px; font-family:Verdana;font-size:12px;"><div>Blake Peebles is a high school sophomore who wakes up at noon, does a few hours of school work, and then practices Guitar Hero for 10 hours. Are his parents crazy? </div><div><br /></div><div>Maybe they are, but consider this: since replacing eight hours of high school each day with three hours of home-school and tutors, Blake now tests at</div><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpDp75b1GO6Sjy20sLphuGZNqTeoxsom2xoR_Jb7tvLZswG1AuQD3Xw05JDC9Wge-b3hlLX2goLeXTKVxoC2Ams_T5t3686CVmGewKYZyoL0IyT3-LqhlNvfi015REshseivdccyQsQhdI/s320/americanway+may+09-1.jpg" style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 178px; height: 178px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5333204761194811746" /><div> a 12<sup style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">th</sup>-grade level, he socializes more often and has more friends, according to an article in the May issue of <a href="http://www.americanwaymag.com/">American Way Magazine</a>. He is also absorbed in mastering computer gaming, one of the fastest growing fields in our economy.</div><div><br /></div><div>It was not an easy decision for his parents to let Blake leave high school and it continues to be a hard choice. They are attacked by critics —most of whom they’ve never met. If the Peebles had taken the expected path and insisted that their son stay in school, no one would be giving them flack – even if their son was bored, depressed or learning less. Many would tell them they were doing the right thing.</div><div><br /></div><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGU57vbDC61GicfstVwJ3f-VvGeOc3ceXChfuZpUbM9KLIXHTi3rSUnbtt6WeYE0MBl7D4DXS4hc1s4cqBVA-8_yjQPDOi_hW74GL9BU9yo9Dm4D9ynAdcGfgrUO3VyTJHBXDnGvkuNcW8/s320/IMG_1469.JPG" style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5333205480764283810" /><div>Yet, today Blake is </div><div>absorbed for most of his waking hours in something </div><div>that creates <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-19970701-000042.html">flow</a> for him – </div><div>a path to well-being that the majority of high school students do not achieve in class, accrding to <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXIeFJCqsPs&feature=PlayList&p=8C3E16ABFCE4522B&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=31">Mihalyi Csikszentmihalyi.</a> Not only that, but Blake has rid himself of the stress he felt in a public high school that was not designed to bring out the best in him. He is learning, he is engaged in flow, and he is happy.</div><div><br /></div>I give the Peebles credit for their courage. There are many parents and educators thinking about reducing pressure in high school, but the critical issue is not just to reduce high school work, but to increase teens' engagement, or flow. The Peebles listened to their child’s needs and they were willing to take a risk in the hope of improving his well-being. Their choice is not one that many would make, but it has proven to be a good one for Blake.</span>Positive Leadershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09964763848965912136noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8856592599783882485.post-63982545320765098122008-12-18T07:58:00.000-08:002011-04-28T12:10:24.188-07:00y articles and videos are now posted on my new website: www.christineduvivier.com. You can find this article <br />
<br />
<p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjunQ6Wif80qVYhKUxIX1dfZFamTU2025creb2rxZduJmSqjYFMIOkgwrNncNydbIGS2yrn7O3uNau0iUXacQCKvcoJJ3WVHCK2VtqKt22QbqkIv_ETG3cxDvDZFhXJFQbKHktLxijlPf1C/s1600-h/j0178426.jpg"><span style="font-size:180%;"></span></a><span style="font-size:180%;"><strong>Have You Done Your Homework?</strong></span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br />
<em>Surprising Facts<span style="font-size:100%;"> on t</span>he #1 Question Parents Ask</em></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw27CsPapf1hXTN9suaODyI3XkZUQf1hBXqyADhjrek51dJ6EQO93azWNCaPuhb3k0rZ-U14aysfBySZaNuCgh588M8RTwOYTOPUAjOc90n_rIWKiPeDlB8y8IIQ2XeJvqVCZER0A_2SmO/s1600-h/j0178426.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5281169025814216818" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 214px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw27CsPapf1hXTN9suaODyI3XkZUQf1hBXqyADhjrek51dJ6EQO93azWNCaPuhb3k0rZ-U14aysfBySZaNuCgh588M8RTwOYTOPUAjOc90n_rIWKiPeDlB8y8IIQ2XeJvqVCZER0A_2SmO/s320/j0178426.jpg" border="0" /></a>Did you ask your child about his or her homework this week? In parent circles, homework is getting a lot of air time. Parents often ask me, “Do you agree there is too much homework?” If you are one of the parents questioning students’ school assignments, you may want to do your own homework on this subject.<br />
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In his book, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Homework-Myth-Kids-Much-Thing/dp/0738211117/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1229371409&sr=1-1">“The Homework Myth: Why Our Kids Get Too Much of a Bad Thing</a>,” researcher Alfie Kohn says none of the studies on homework show a significant positive effect on high school learning. Some of the studies actually show harm, and, at best, the studies are neutral, Kohn reports.<br />
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I agree with parents who feel that for many teens there’s too much homework. When my own daughters were going through high school (two different schools), I felt this way, but I thought it was just me. Now, more parents are speaking up and questioning high school work levels.<br />
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You’ve probably heard the “benefits” of more homework, but how often do you hear about how teens benefit from <em>less</em> homework?<br />
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There are at least three major benefits of less homework:<br />
1. Increase parent-teen bonding time<br />
2. Reduce family stress<br />
3. Free-up time for life-changing activities<br />
<br />
</p><p><strong>Increase Parent-Teen Bonding Time </strong></p><p>At a recent parent workshop, one mother said, “I used to bond with my child while taking a walk in the woods, but now she has too much homework and other school activities: there’s no time.” <img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5281167553349856738" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 236px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 173px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhld0Jz2XZ8Vz_s5VmWGkR1O4rBNPIBpHrHftdap6g_ke7bf5EGR5Nea0MvZ_kkAWWAWR_LYe0Zd_UKixk28B6ylDtO0hIjYF5QAlkBc_HcF-YSKSecxa0x0OJpYXadKyrqXvVtFQ-AS2RG/s320/Alta+2005.jpg" border="0" />If you are a high school parent, this is a crucial age for family bonding. We need positive relationships to buffer against the negative effects of stress, says <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Adaptation-Life-George-E-Vaillant/dp/0674004140/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1229371753&sr=1-1" target="_blank">Dr. George Vaillant</a>. Additionally, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Childhood-Roots-Adult-Happiness-Lifelong/dp/0345442334/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1229434107&sr=1-1" target="_blank">Dr. Ned Hallowell</a> explains that parent-teen connection leads to adult happiness.<br />
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Less homework frees-up opportunities for reconnecting with your teen: nice for you, vital for your child.<br />
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<strong>Reduce Family Stress</strong><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYXWp-eVruHRMxuuBFcJdwlQextpIU612LM_V3Uv5YZbcfNSUkMb5YA6SbsJS9EoefkK37ooMWK29bG64KXFqCq-eM-GQoElyQlxtTp1F3rcICNO9cXbM5qxAjXI9qTGMvqA0uB1dQKo0e/s1600-h/j0409298.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5281172287343374994" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 56px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 89px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYXWp-eVruHRMxuuBFcJdwlQextpIU612LM_V3Uv5YZbcfNSUkMb5YA6SbsJS9EoefkK37ooMWK29bG64KXFqCq-eM-GQoElyQlxtTp1F3rcICNO9cXbM5qxAjXI9qTGMvqA0uB1dQKo0e/s320/j0409298.jpg" border="0" /></a>The high levels of homework can damage parent-child relationships in another way: students’ school demands can begin to feel like parents’ school demands—and we can end up nagging our teens because of the pressure we feel to make sure they get the best possible start in life. </p><p>In my worst moments as a parent, I imagined my teens lying on the couch watching TV for the next 30 years—if I didn’t prod them now! Sadly, when I looked around for help, all the resources encouraged more nagging and prodding: schedules, planners, tutors, consequences, kind-but-authoritative expectation-setting… it’s exhausting just to think about it. Looking back, I think it’s a good thing that I didn’t have the energy or the discipline to follow-through on all the advice we got—it’s one assignment I’m glad I failed.<br />
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At the age where our kids most need to know we are there for them, school pressures can add to our stress and undermine the love and trust teens need (even if they don’t show it).<br />
<br />
<strong>Free Up Time for Life-Changing Activities </strong><strong><br />
</strong><a title="Homework and Sports" href="http://pos-psych.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/homework-and-sports.JPG"></a>Even if you’ve maintained a great relationship with your teen, you still have good reason to question the amount of high school work. Engagement — “flow”— occurs when you are absorbed in an activity that challenges your skills or uses your strengths in new ways, and flow gives kids a chance to flourish, says <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_Seligman" target="_blank">Martin Seligman</a>. What better life lessons could our teens learn?<br />
</p><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5281167563705349266" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 133px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 160px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqEztG4iodVFwoA4XC08UYBKZMPDdCIj1dQBq92FRFWxucrLdcbKeyiJFTCj-o9761nsobhVl0rHVPaoYmgGZXsyHy1mNfCEkTQHOTS6CckqJp-RAvZyzN3UTQKDLr6jW167in9RyOt9Ou/s320/j0438439.jpg" border="0" />Sadly, most teens are not engaged in their academic classes, <a href="http://www.cgu.edu/pages/1871.asp" target="_blank">Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi</a> reports.<br />
<br />
Most of the flow in high school learning happens in non-academic areas—electives, sports, and arts. Outside of school, activities like hobbies, games, volunteer service and scouting can be highly-engaging—yet these are often minimized due to time-pressure. If most of students’ school experience is not engaging, do we really want to add even more non-engaging homework to the daily strain—and deprive teens of activities where they can flourish?<br />
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If you are questioning how to help your teen thrive, my response is: less homework, more flow.<br />
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<strong>For more information:</strong><br />
<br />
My website: <a href="http://www.positiveleaders.com/">http://www.positiveleaders.com/</a> -- See a free video or download the<a href="http://www.positiveleaders.com/studyresults.html"> study </a>of students' school myths, learning gifts and future prospects; Upcoming <a href="http://www.positiveleaders.com/april09.html">parent workshop </a>with Dr. Hallowell, "<a href="http://www.positiveleaders.com/april09.html">Unwrap Your Teen's Gifts</a>"<br />
<br />
Shernoff, D. J., Csikszentmihalyi, M., Shneider, B., & Shernoff, E. S. (2003). Student engagement in high school classrooms from the perspective of flow theory. <em>School Psychology Quarterly, 18(2), 158-176</em>.<br />
Hallowell, E.(2003). <em><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Childhood-Roots-Adult-Happiness-Lifelong/dp/0345442334/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1229616306&sr=1-1">The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness: Five Steps to Help Kids Create and Sustain Lifelong Joy</a></em>. New York: Ballantine Books.<br />
Kohn, A. (2006). <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0738211117?ie=UTF8&tag=positivecom0b-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0738211117">The Homework Myth: Why Our Kids Get Too Much of a Bad Thing</a>. Cambridge: Da Capo Lifelong Books.<br />
Seligman, M. E. P. (2002). <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0743222989?ie=UTF8&tag=positivecom0b-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0743222989">Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment</a>. New York: Free Press.<br />
Vaillant, G. (1998). <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0674004140?ie=UTF8&tag=positivecom0b-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0674004140">Adaptation to Life</a>. New York, NY: Harvard University Press.<br />
<br />
This article originally appeared on December 18, 2008 in <a href="http://www.pos-psych.com/">Positive Psychology News Daily</a>. The original article is here: <a href="http://pos-psych.com/news/christine-duvivier/200812181350">http://pos-psych.com/news/christine-duvivier/200812181350</a>Positive Leadershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09964763848965912136noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8856592599783882485.post-38688823813691704512008-10-21T09:38:00.000-07:002008-10-21T10:14:24.645-07:00A little good news for a bad news dayI just read <a href="http://pos-psych.com/news/denise-clegg/200810201087">this post</a> by Denise Clegg and want to share it... there is good news out there-- even when all we seem to get is bad news. Fear has its role in life --but it's very limited, so use it wisely: <a href="http://pos-psych.com/news/denise-clegg/200810201087">http://pos-psych.com/news/denise-clegg/200810201087</a><br /><br />:) Christine <a href="http://www.positiveleaders.com/">http://www.positiveleaders.com/</a>Positive Leadershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09964763848965912136noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8856592599783882485.post-82101767930440535102008-09-15T18:59:00.000-07:002011-04-28T12:10:06.755-07:00Teens Who Bring Good Dreams to Lifey articles and videos are now posted on my new website: www.christineduvivier.com. You can find this article <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjydMSgyoKc6vN2SI6pE2mNGFoW7F6Ij8xYmwuYAlVuVCtN81vc7yCUbFDSoOEwhgfOXsluqrVUbx4bWfLzhUZ5vSEM2OVbxAjXoG5NsPvAPnNvNKahMCja4tae_tf2mdtQNpqT8TRHek9g/s1600-h/Daydreaming+Girl+River.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5246442640448585826" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" height="188" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjydMSgyoKc6vN2SI6pE2mNGFoW7F6Ij8xYmwuYAlVuVCtN81vc7yCUbFDSoOEwhgfOXsluqrVUbx4bWfLzhUZ5vSEM2OVbxAjXoG5NsPvAPnNvNKahMCja4tae_tf2mdtQNpqT8TRHek9g/s320/Daydreaming+Girl+River.jpg" width="288" border="0" /></a><br />
Imagine you were asked to help improve the future prospects of Jill, a high school junior with a GPA of 2.0 who daydreams in English, History, and Spanish. What would you advise Jill to do?<br />
<br />
a) Get screened for a learning disability and, if needed, take medication to focus.<br />
b) Visualize a report card with all “A”s.<br />
c) Both a and b.<br />
d) Keep on dreaming.<br />
e) None of the above.<br />
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If you answered, “keep on dreaming,” congratulations. You may already know that daydreaming can lead to better life satisfaction by improving relationships and boosting creativity. If not-- or if you answered a, b, c, or e, please read on.<br />
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<div><div><div><br />
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</div><div><strong><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3wByBo9QsLQmpk57BOoz9IR4aVL8BXIsdSxLvTyD2YBmxCEBuIGQYrqvV1yFICA6gDFcoR34DSWnZZERYGabueR7xX3mpX1SawXp3uMarUNhJNnF-KjTl8zoBWXW9h51O8YFGQJh3zBUm/s1600-h/hearts.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5246444630393536370" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 125px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 147px" height="161" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3wByBo9QsLQmpk57BOoz9IR4aVL8BXIsdSxLvTyD2YBmxCEBuIGQYrqvV1yFICA6gDFcoR34DSWnZZERYGabueR7xX3mpX1SawXp3uMarUNhJNnF-KjTl8zoBWXW9h51O8YFGQJh3zBUm/s200/hearts.jpg" width="137" border="0" /></a>Dream Relationships</strong> </div><div><br />
</div><div></div><div>Daydreaming may not be the first word that comes to mind when you think of ways to improve your love life, but this is one of the surprising scientific findings cited by author <a href="http://www.jonahlehrer.com/About%20Me%202.html">Jonah Lehrer</a> in his article, “Daydream Achiever,” (Lehrer, p. C3). By imagining a variety of scenarios and testing them in our minds, we role-play internally and then take action in our real-lives to create the relationships we want.<br />
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</div><div></div><p align="right"></p><div></div><div><strong></strong></div><div><strong>Daydreaming and Creativity<br />
</strong><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2ZXRVMWmZXeJUZZhP-9pi0z1kYvx1V5rgvNX-2KtHiJ4R7jB5-ntVSewdz5lP3TiOPfxG0WYjTucHIKOXlUgPZwfLcHXC0Kfb5PXOs-n7NJlRfDT2ZXYdFckamqx119rvSCMsXzV64UOZ/s1600-h/linked.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5246441378155880370" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2ZXRVMWmZXeJUZZhP-9pi0z1kYvx1V5rgvNX-2KtHiJ4R7jB5-ntVSewdz5lP3TiOPfxG0WYjTucHIKOXlUgPZwfLcHXC0Kfb5PXOs-n7NJlRfDT2ZXYdFckamqx119rvSCMsXzV64UOZ/s200/linked.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />
Scientists have also found that daydreaming fosters abstract thinking, says Lehrer, by allowing us to make the new connections and develop the new ideas that are the heart of creativity. Ask Arthur Fry. Arthur was a daydreamer and one day in church, instead of listening to the sermon, his mind went off on a tangent. He started thinking about the paper scraps he used for bookmarks and how they were always falling out of his hymn book (Lehrer, C1).<br />
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Now it may be that Arthur missed an important message from his minister that day, but let’s all give thanks for his distraction -- it brought us the eternally useful Post-it® Notes.<br />
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<strong>Creativity and Economic Success<br />
</strong><br />
Fry’s creative new idea not only gave us walls covered with colorful reminders, it gave the 3M <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPvpbHFGV2CkbVQ30THq8XgwUzvTVdnkhdbm8NXF-nDXhVkak2DVp7RYuEbniyL5zelHndisdyNVZe06PhnEZvNdBgXKrEswxE81d44p_r_GL4JzhyWePnPAYTqguPSKszi82dyt_-hIec/s1600-h/Post-It+Hello.jpg"></a>company more than $1 Billion a year in revenue, reports <a href="http://www.rakemag.com/reporting/features/twenty-five-years-post-it-notes-0">Greg Beato</a>. This is just one example of the link between creativity and economic success. </div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5246441780231857890" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7IMrk4fzPucv9-R_DNVP83PCPdzo64_eu6Yyb3l_wpOPfrmiaj2BSbrV41JctU1zpoBy_1sZcx5sfQslRj9V7hXesGF2xwH0HAMs69dHaBoZNwlsbnwMupX_XWCTbnEpWFR0hbaSX8e5j/s200/Post-It+Hello.jpg" border="0" />Professor <a href="http://creativeclass.com/richard_florida/books/the_rise_of_the_creative_class/">Richard Florida</a> says that the “creative class” is now the fastest-growing part of our economy and will continue to be our decisive economic advantage in the future. The core professions in this class range from technology to sports to the arts and they develop best in communities that foster diversity—of ideas, cultures, interests, and abilities (Florida, 2002).<br />
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This is great news for all teens – but especially for those in what I affectionately term, “The Bottom 80,”<span style="font-size:78%;">TM</span>—those who are not in the top 20% of their classes. I found that students in The Bottom 80 <span style="font-size:78%;">TM</span> have the strengths and gifts to thrive in the dynamic world Florida describes (see <a href="http://www.positiveleaders.com/">http://www.positiveleaders.com/</a> for more details).<br />
<br />
It could also be good news for students like Jill, the high school daydreamer in question at the start of this article. In a world where connecting diverse ideas is a crucial competitive advantage, you’d expect daydreamers to be revered. Sadly, though, this is not yet the case. Adolescents who daydream are often seen as unmotivated, underachievers, or problems that need to be “fixed,” tutored, or medicated.<br />
</div><div><br />
What’s<span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:78%;"></span><strong><em>Right</em></strong> with Daydreaming Teens?<br />
<br />
When you think about it, daydreaming is paying attention—it’s giving your attention to something more engaging than the reality in front of you at the moment. That’s what happens with ADD students, for example. Their distraction doesn’t mean they can’t focus on anything-- just the opposite, in fact: they actually hyper-focus, becoming absorbed in activities they find so intriguing that they cannot give attention to anything else around them according to expert <a href="http://pos-psych.com/news/guest-author/20080813939">Ned Hallowell, M.D</a>. So what would you guess is a top strength in ADD teens? Creativity, of course.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgc67syLtk0fr_sBjDxY7U2A4fkNyhN-u4ONSWb1bahzW0A4JZVBBsGafuxX5KC_Xb5C9DpuouoYk0f13avL_ky1MtpfNHwNgMT0tzRW-HiGB-RQKaDG5ZhIVhYeN0dwDZkfhyphenhyphenSz5zSSUtL/s1600-h/Boy+Daydreaming+Ships"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5246439697908907970" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgc67syLtk0fr_sBjDxY7U2A4fkNyhN-u4ONSWb1bahzW0A4JZVBBsGafuxX5KC_Xb5C9DpuouoYk0f13avL_ky1MtpfNHwNgMT0tzRW-HiGB-RQKaDG5ZhIVhYeN0dwDZkfhyphenhyphenSz5zSSUtL/s200/Boy+Daydreaming+Ships" border="0" /></a>Imagine what would happen if we stopped looking at what’s “wrong” with daydreaming students – and started seeing what’s right with them?* It is when they are not interested in a topic-- or they are more interested in something else-- that they daydream…and make creative connections, as Arthur Fry did on that fateful Sunday morning.<br />
<br />
What if, instead of focusing on how to make these students listen in class, get better grades or go to a “great” college—we encourage them to bring good dreams to life?</div><div></div><div><blockquote>This article originally appeared on <a href="http://www.pos-psych.com/"><span style="font-size:85%;">Positive Psychology News Daily</span></a>.The original article is here: <a href="http://pos-psych.com/news/christine-duvivier/200809121016"><span style="font-size:85%;">http://pos-psych.com/news/christine-duvivier/200809121016</span></a>. </blockquote></div><div></div></div><br />
<br />
My website: <a href="http://www.positiveleaders.com/">http://www.positiveleaders.com/</a><br />
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<blockquote></blockquote><br />
Images: <a href="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2274/1726191871_77c57d9824.jpg?v=1193309087"><span style="font-size:85%;">Daydreaming Girl</span></a><span style="font-size:85%;">, </span><a href="http://www.fordham.edu/lewis/fferm/linked.png"><span style="font-size:85%;">Link</span></a><span style="font-size:85%;">, </span><a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d7/Post-It.jpg"><span style="font-size:85%;">Post-It</span></a><span style="font-size:85%;">, </span><a href="http://snapshot.parade.com/main.php?g2_view=core.DownloadItem&g2_itemId=1135962&g2_serialNumber=3"><span style="font-size:85%;">Daydreaming Boy</span></a><br />
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References:<br />
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<div align="left">Beato, Greg (2005). Twenty-Five Years of Post-It Notes. Retrieved September 6, 2008 from:</div><div align="left"><a href="http://www.rakemag.com/reporting/features/twenty-five-years-post-it-notes0#adjump"><span style="font-size:85%;">http://www.rakemag.com/reporting/features/twenty-five-years-post-it-notes0#adjump</span></a><br />
Duvivier (2007). Appreciating Beauty in the Bottom 80. University of Pennsylvania: </div><div align="left">Capstone, August 1. Retrieved on September 3, 2008 from:</div><div align="left"><a href="http://www.positiveleaders.com/studyresults.html"><span style="font-size:85%;">www.positiveleaders.com/studyresults.html</span></a><span style="font-size:85%;"><br />
</span>Florida, R. (2002). The Rise of the Creative Class: And How It's Transforming Work, Leisure,</div><div align="left">Community and Everyday Life. New York: Basic Books.<br />
Hallowell, E., & Ratey, J. (1995). Driven To Distraction : Recognizing and Coping with Attention</div><div align="left">Deficit Disorder from Childhood Through Adulthood. New York: Touchstone.<br />
Lehrer, J. (2008). Daydream Achiever. Boston Sunday Globe, August 31, pp. C1-3.<br />
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* Inspired by Dewitt Jones’ film, “Celebrate What’s Right with the World” (2007).</div>Positive Leadershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09964763848965912136noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8856592599783882485.post-58648046873224976482008-06-18T14:58:00.000-07:002011-04-28T12:09:34.742-07:00Preventing Depressiony articles and videos are now posted on my new website: www.christineduvivier.com. <br />
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In my June 11 article, I talked about alternatives to anti-depressants. Here I will turn to what I believe is the bigger question: how can we prevent depression in the first place? In other words, how do we help healthy kids to enhance their well-being and flourish in life?<br />
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Optimism and Engagement are two ways individuals can buffer themselves against depression. But to have the greatest impact, we need system-level change so that teens develop in an environment that prevents depression-- and this means changing our approach to education.<br />
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<strong>Optimism </strong><br />
One of the best things we can do for our children is to teach them the thinking skills that build optimism and hope. The way we explain life events to ourselves falls into two styles: pessimistic and optimistic, according to Martin Seligman, in his book, “Learned Optimism.” The pessimistic style is associated with depression and the optimistic style prevents depression.<br />
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When a bad event happens, the key question is how I explain it to myself. Do I say, “It’s my fault; there’s something wrong with me; I failed?” Or, do I name multiple factors, beyond me, that contributed to the event? The first set of answers reflects a pessimistic style and the second answer reflects an optimistic style. When good events happen, I want to do just the opposite: focus on things I did to make the events happen.<br />
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<strong>Engagement</strong><br />
Engagement is the experience of being so absorbed in an activity that you lose your sense of self—and your sense of time. For example, playing tennis, planting a garden for your community center, meditating, and using your top strengths in new ways are all engaging activities. Each of these requires focus beyond the self – which is crucial to preventing depression, according to Seligman, in his latest book, “Authentic Happiness.”<br />
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Sadly, researcher Mike Csikszentmihalyi found that most teens are not engaged during much of the school day. Further, the two areas where teens are most engaged at school are the same areas where opportunities become more limited as kids get older: Sports and Arts. Increasing the amount of time spent in engaging activities, through participation in sports, arts, using one’s character strengths, meaningful service to others, and meditation are all ways to enhance well-being and buffer against depression.<br />
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<strong>Changing Our Approach to Education</strong><br />
In addition to individual skills, we also need to consider the system in which teens operate daily-- to be sure it enhances well-being. In a study last year, I found that our current system reinforces factors that cause depression (lack of control, defeat and pessimism, as well as focus on rank and status). For more detail, please see my study at <a href="http://www.positiveleaders.com/studyresults.html">www.positiveleaders.com/studyresults.html</a>. If we want to systematically prevent depression in teens, we—parents, voters, and educators-- need to change our approach to education.<br />
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To begin with, three false myths affect the way we view and talk about education: (1) Not being a top student means you are not hardworking, motivated, or intelligent; (2) Being a top student leads to a great life; and (3) Our approach to education is best for our teens.<br />
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Students in the bottom of their classes have strengths and gifts that are well-suited to successful lives, but often these abilities are not amplified and enhanced in school. Nor are some strengths of the best students. While top students can thrive in school, they are also encouraged to focus on factors that correlate with anxiety and depression: rank, teacher opinion, being the best, or looking smart.*<br />
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World, corporate, and scientific leadership – as well as the future economy — depend on a far broader set of abilities than those we currently emphasize in school. Changing our approach, and actively engaging diverse gifts and strengths, not only leads to teen well-being, it also prepares the next generation for the world they will run.<br />
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* Jennifer Crocker at University of Michigan, Janice Templeton, at Fort Lewis College, and Barry Schwartz , author of “The Paradox of Choice,” have written about these factors.<br />
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<strong>For More Information:</strong><br />
Optimism and strengths tests: <a href="http://www.authentichappiness.com/">http://www.authentichappiness.com/</a><br />
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My Website: <a href="http://www.positiveleaders.com/">http://www.positiveleaders.com/</a><br />
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If you would like to be on our distribution list (we do not give your information to anyone else), please email <a href="mailto:julie@positiveleaders.com">julie@positiveleaders.com</a><br />
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"<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Learned-Optimism-Change-Your-Mind/dp/1400078393/ref=pd_bbs_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1213991279&sr=1-2">Learned Optimism</a>" and "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Authentic-Happiness-Psychology-Potential-Fulfillment/dp/0743222989/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1213991279&sr=1-1">Authentic Happiness</a>" are available on Amazon.<br />
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© Christine Duvivier 2007, 2008 All Rights ReservedPositive Leadershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09964763848965912136noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8856592599783882485.post-13762105249142535832008-06-11T11:48:00.000-07:002011-04-28T12:08:00.142-07:00Alternatives to Anti-depressantsMy articles and videos are now posted on my new website: www.christineduvivier.com. You can find this article <a href="http://www.christineduvivier.com/2011/01/27/alternatives-to-anti-depressants/">here.</a><br />
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Jeanne Mayell’s recent column in The Wellesley Townsman alerted parents to the teen suicide risks of anti-depressants. She said, “…they found that after being on the drug for many months, significantly more people became suicidal on the antidepressant than on the placebo.” This naturally leads to the question: are there alternatives? The short answer is: yes. Several alternatives exist for treating depression and I will discuss them below. Equally important, though, are the options for <em><strong>preventing depression</strong></em>-- and I will talk about these in the next article.<br />
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Before going further, you need to know that I am not a medical professional. I have a masters' in Positive Psychology and additional training in optimism and resilience. My intent here is to provide information for parents who want to research anti-depressant alternatives and particularly for those who want to prevent teen depression. Please talk with a physician or clinical psychologist before deciding upon the best approach for your teen.<br />
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<strong>Why It Matters</strong><br />
Depression is at an all-time high: incidences have increased 1000% in 50 years [note: for those who wonder if the increase is due to better reporting, it is not]. Sadly, depression now starts earlier: the average age of onset has gone from age 30 to age 14.5. It is estimated that 20% of high school students (240 in a school of 1200) will have a serious depressive episode.<br />
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While 20% --one in five teens-- is a high rate, this does not even include the students who have some symptoms of depression or anxiety. In 1988, researcher Jean Twenge found that “normal kids” showed more symptoms of anxiety than psychiatric patients in the 1950s. Data from the <a href="http://www.ppc.sas.upenn.edu/prpsum.htm">Penn Resiliency Program </a>showed middle school students with depressive symptoms, who were not yet clinically depressed. These symptoms doubled in two years when left untreated.<br />
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<strong>Treating Depression</strong><br />
Clearly we need effective, low-risk treatments. Fortunately, there are three approaches, besides anti-depressants, that parents can consider: 1) Homeopathy, 2) Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and 3) Positive Interventions.<br />
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<strong><em>Homeopathy</em></strong> is a natural medical approach developed by a physician in the 1850s. It has not had the same level of study that pharmaceuticals have had, so parents need to understand it carefully before deciding on the approach they feel is best for their children. For parents seeking an alternative to pharmaceutical drugs, however, this may be an option. It works somewhat like a vaccine, using infinitesimal amounts of natural substances that trigger the individual’s system to heal itself (quantum physics principles can explain how it works). Homeopathy has been used to treat depression in teens. Two local homeopaths are <a href="http://www.vitalforcehealthcare.com/jerry_background.html">Jerry Kantor </a>in Wellesley and Mathilde Flores in Maynard, MA.<br />
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Another approach is <strong><em>CBT</em></strong> (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), a psychotherapy approach that has been used for over 30 years. Psychiatrist Aaron Beck showed that it is our thoughts—specifically the way we explain events to ourselves—that causes depression. With CBT, an individual is guided to change their damaging thought patterns. Studies have shown that CBT is as effective as anti-depressants in many cases.<br />
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<strong><em>Positive Interventions</em></strong> are a third alternative and potentially the most powerful. In one study, 12 weeks of psychotherapy using Positive Interventions worked better than a combination of anti-depressants and traditional therapy. In a second study of college students with moderate depression, Positive Interventions-- used for six weeks-- reduced depressive symptoms significantly and increased life satisfaction. The effects lasted for the full year of follow-on testing, which is longer than typically expected. These studies were done by Marty Seligman, Tayyab Rashid, and Acacia Parks at the University of Pennsylvania (American Psychologist, 2006).<br />
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Treating depression effectively, without putting our children at increased risk, is critically important, but it is not enough. Far better is to prevent depression from occurring in the first place and I will discuss this in the next article.<br />
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<strong>Resources</strong><br />
For more information on the alternatives above, please click on the following links:<br />
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Homeopathy:<br />
<a href="http://www.homeopathy-soh.org/about-homeopathy/what-is-homeopathy/sad.aspx">http://www.homeopathy-soh.org/about-homeopathy/what-is-homeopathy/sad.aspx</a><br />
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CBT:<br />
<a href="http://health.usnews.com/articles/health/2007/12/12/get-healthier-and-happier.html?PageNr=2">http://health.usnews.com/articles/health/2007/12/12/get-healthier-and-happier.html?PageNr=2</a><br />
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Positive Interventions in Psychotherapy: <a href="http://www.ppc.sas.upenn.edu/positivepsychotherapyarticle.pdf">http://www.ppc.sas.upenn.edu/positivepsychotherapyarticle.pdf</a><br />
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<strong><em>My Website:</em> <a href="http://www.positiveleaders.com/" target="_blank">www.positiveleaders.com</a></strong>Positive Leadershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09964763848965912136noreply@blogger.com0